Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
