Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
