apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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