remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize