actually, I'm a sock model
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize