sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize