Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
