I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
