All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I smell stomach acid.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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