What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
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