So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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