Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Randomize
