glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
