...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
