Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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