Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
