ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
