dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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