I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
