he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
