Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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