He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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