Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
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