Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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