shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I think people are normalizing furries
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
