Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
