Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Is it because I queefed?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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