that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
