McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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