I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
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It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
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Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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