And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize