Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize