Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
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Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
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I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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