You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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