you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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