you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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