oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
