Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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