it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
two words...techno handjob
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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