Having a random hookup so left but love u
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
