i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
its not stalking. its research.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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