Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
