She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
