Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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