I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize