Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize