There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You're earring is so big in my mouth
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
