just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Everything about him screamed your future.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
When are your genitals available?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
