Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
