I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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