I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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