soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
