Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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