So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
