apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
