I wanna bring you to show and tell
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
