im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
