she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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