I molested 6 butterflies tonight
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
