I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
