What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
